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“As an overseaser,” says Neill Brown. “I have the privilege of which match to choose at 12am/3pm; what one would you go for? Also, would you mind giving a shout out to my friend’s son’s band (a sentence that should make us all feel old)? Their new single was released yesterday and can be streamed in all the usual places.”
I would not mind one bit, and will listen myself when this thing of ours has finished. As for the game, I think – and I didn’t think I’d be saying this a month ago – I would watch Roy Hodgson’s free-flowing Crystal Palace.
Scottish Premiership
“Afternoon Rob,” writes Simon McMahon. “After looking doomed three weeks ago, crucial wins against Hibs and Motherwell have seen high flying Dundee United move out of the relegation and play-off places and into 10th spot, ahead of Kilmarnock and Ross County.
“A win against top six-chasing Livingston at Tannadice today would see United record three straight wins in the league for the first time this season, and edge them closer to safety (Hearts beat Ross County 6-1 in the early kick-off). It would also be further proof that Jim Goodwin is indeed the Messiah.
“Other games are St. Mirren (come on you Saints) v Kilmarnock (boo) and St. Johnstone (boo) v Hibs (come on you Hibees).”
This is the beginning of the end for the humble, clueless, reliant-on-other-people-to-watch-the games Saturday Clockwatch.
Chelsea latest
I’m not sure I’d go anywhere near that job in the current climate.
“Do excuse the nostalgia and accept heartfelt thanks for the pic of Digger Barnes in his redmen prime,” says Ian Copestake. “I stopped going to football games after Hillsborough but treasure the memory of seeing JB score stunners at Anfield and generally just mesmerise us with his close control and thighs.”
Please tell me you were there for the QPR goal.
Full time: Fulham 2-1 Leeds
A third straight defeat for Leeds, who are in serious bother for the second year in a row.
“Afternoon Rob,” writes David Alderton. “The top of the League One table has been a proper rollercoaster. Meanwhile Barnsley have seemingly become a proper model of consistency, and I think whichever of the top three fail to gain automatic promotion will probably lose against them in the playoffs. Wednesday having played one more game than Argyle and Ipswich is rattling my nerves somewhat. It’s been a season so far.”
Full time: Chelsea 0-1 Barcelona
Chelsea have it all to do on Thursday after a difficult afternoon at Stamford Bridge. Caroline Graham Hansen’s majestic early goal settled the first leg of their Champions League semi-final, and it sounds like Barcelona could have won by more.
Scottish Premiership
Hearts are ending a run of five straight defeats in style. They are hammering the bottom club Ross County 6-0, with Lawrence Shankland scoring a hat-trick.
Liverpool v Nottm Forest team news
Steve Cooper has picked a cautious Forest team, with Brennan Johnson dropped to the bench. Orel Mangala replaces him.
Liverpool, who plugged Leeds 6-1 on Monday, are unchanged.
Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Konate, van Dijk, Robertson; Henderson, Fabinho, Jones; Salah, Gakpo, Jota.
Subs: Gomez, Thiago, Milner, Elliott, Tsimikas, Diaz, Nunez, Matip, Kelleher.
Nottm Forest (5-3-1-1) Navas; Williams, Felipe, Niakhate, McKenna, Renan Lodi; Mangala, Danilo, Freuler; Gibbs-White; Awoniyi.
Subs: Worrall, Lingard, Hennessey, Toffolo, Surridge, Johnson, Dennis, Ayew, Hammond.
Referee Michael Oliver (Northumberland)
🔴 TEAM NEWS IS IN 🔴
This is how the Reds line up to face Nottingham Forest ✊#LIVNFO
GOAL! Fulham 2-1 Leeds (Bamford 79)
Patrick Bamford has given Leeds a sniff at Craven Cottage.
Leicester City v Wolves team news
There’s no James Maddison (unwell) for Leicester, which is such an obviously big blow that I feel like an idiot saying it’s a big blow. Dean Smith has picked all three of his strikers – Kelechi Iheanacho, Patson Daka and Jamie Vardy.
Leicester Iversen, Castagne, Soyuncu, Faes, Kristiansen, Tielemans, Soumare, Tete, Iheanacho, Daka, Vardy.
Subs: Ward, Souttar, Amartey, Dewsbury-Hall, Mendy, Ndidi, Praet, Thomas, Marcal-Madivadua.
Wolverhampton Jose Sa, Nelson Semedo, Dawson, Kilman, Gomes, Matheus Luiz, Joao Gomes, Lemina, Sarabia, Matheus Cunha, Costa.
Subs: Collins, Pedro Neto, Neves, Daniel Podence, Hwang, Bentley, Joao Moutinho, Adama Traore, Bueno.
Referee Darren England (South Yorkshire)
Brentford v Aston Villa team news
Thomas Frank brings in Vitaly Janelt for Josh Dasilva. Villa are unchanged.
Brentford (4-3-3) Raya; Hickey, Pinnock, Mee, Henry; Jensen, Norgaard, Janelt; Mbeumo, Toney, Schade.
Subs: Dasilva, Wissa, Jorgensen, Ghoddos, Onyeka, Damsgaard, Baptiste, Roerslev, Cox.
Aston Villa (4-2-3-1) Martinez; Ashley Young, Konsa, Mings, Alex Moreno; Dendoncker; Douglas Luiz; McGinn, Buendia, Ramsey; Watkins.
Subs: Diego Carlos, Traore, Chambers, Duran, Olsen, Digne,
Sinisalo, Revan, Patterson.
Referee Michael Salisbury (Lancashire)
Crystal Palace v Everton team news
A boost for Everton: Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who has been out since the first week of February, starts up front. He replaces Neal Maupay, and Mason Holgate comes in at right-back for Ben Godfrey.
Palace are unchanged, and you’d jolly well hope so given their recent form.
Crystal Palace (4-3-3) Johnstone; Ward, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell; Eze, Doucoure, Schlupp; Olise, Edouard, Ayew.
Subs: Milivojevic, Tomkins, Sambi Lokonga, Guaita, Mateta, McArthur, Hughes, Richards, Riedewald.
Everton (possible 4-4-2) Pickford; Holgate, Keane, Tarkowski, Mykolenko; Iwobi, Garner, Gueye, McNeil; Calvert-Lewin, Gray.
Subs: Patterson, Mina, Begovic, Maupay, Godfrey, Davies, Coady, Lonergan, Simms.
Referee John Brooks (Leicestershire)
GOAL! Fulham 2-0 Leeds (Andreas 72) Leeds are heading for a third straight defeat, and Fulham aren’t yet out of the race for a European place.
GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Leeds (Wilson 58)
Harry Wilson has belted the home side ahead at Craven Cottage.
Brentford v Aston Villa
They’ll have played more games than the teams around them, it’s true, but if Villa win at Brentford today they will be three points off a Champions League place.
Pre-match reading
“Dearest, Rob,” writes, Liverpool, fan, Ian Copestake. “I have a frien...acquaintance who has let it be known that if his and my own team loses against Forest this will be a good thing because it may cause Everton to circle the drain. I tell you I am shocked by the lack of neighbourliness.”
Premier League: Fulham 0-0 Leeds (52 min)
Move along, nothing to see here.
National League
Wrexham will return to the EFL if Notts County lose at Maidstone. If County get a result, Wrexham can clinch promotion by beating Boreham Wood tonight.
League Two
Leyton Orient have already been promoted. Stevenage, in third but with a game in hand on Northampton, could join them if they win at Mansfield and results elsewhere go their way.
Rochdale will be relegated unless they win at Stockport, and even that might not be enough.
League One
None of the top three – Plymouth, Ipswich and Sheffield Wednesday – can clinch automatic promotion, but they all have huge games.
Forest Green have already been relegated; none of the other teams at the bottom can join them today.
Championship
Burnley will clinch the title if they win at home to QPR
Middlesbrough, who meet Luton on Monday, could clinch a playoff place depending on results elsewhere.
Wigan will be relegated if they lose at home to Millwall, and they could go down with a draw.
Blackpool could be relegated if they lose at Birmingham.
Women's Champions League latest
Chelsea took out the holders Lyon but Barcelona always felt like an even tougher game. So it is proving: Caroline Graham Hansen’s spectacular early goal has given them a 1-0 half-time lead at Stamford Bridge. You can follow the second half with Daniel Gallan.
Premier League
Four of the bottom five are in action, all both grateful for and alarmed by Southampton’s result at the Emirates last night. The relegation-battle escapees, Crystal Palace (at home to Everton) and Wolves (away to Leicester), will surely be safe if they win.
It feels like a particularly important day for Leicester, who need to arrest their slide ahead of two gigantic matches next week: Leeds away on Tuesday and Everton at home on Saturday.
Preamble
Hello and welcome to another bumper, nerve-shredding Saturday Clockwatch. It’s stressful enough being a neutral at this time of the season, so goodness knows how it feels to be a fan of, well, just about anybody. It’s all up for grabs, with dead rubbers conspicuous by their absence.
We’ll be focussing on the Premier League this afternoon, as is our elitist wont, but we’ll also be keeping our spare eye on the promotions and relegations that will be confirmed in the EFL. There’s also a Women’s Champions League semi-final, and a chance for the leaders in Scotland and Germany to move closer to another title.
These are the Premier League games, all 3pm kick-offs apart from the first one.
Brentford v Aston Villa
Crystal Palace v Everton
Leicester City v Wolves
Liverpool v Nottm Forest
You can see all the other fixtures on our live scores page. I’m not going to type them out, because my fingers have done little to deserve such punishment. Instead, let’s go through what’s at stake today.
English (US)